Death Shattering...
5 posters
Pokemon Perfection :: Random :: Hobbies
Page 1 of 1
Death Shattering...
by Paradox Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:59 pm
All of my chapters will be here in the first post, so if a new chapter/part comes out, you know where to look.
- Prologue:
- Prologue : The Dream
"Ekkkkkkkk!~" A shriek came from what had seem like an endless abyss of darkness. All I could see was a lone figure in the distance. He seemed familar...somehow.... "Uh...uhm...Mist--" was all I could manage to say. What the heck was going on?? Suddenly, startled, I saw the man's eyes enlargen. How I saw, I have no idea. We must've been at least 10 meters away. "I've done it..." cried the man "I've done it! Finally! At last!" A smile grew on the man's face. I ran up to him, cautiously. "What the heck am I doing?" I thought. However, before I could answer my own question, the strange man turned around and stared at me. Frightened of what he was going to do, I froze.
His grin soon turned into a horrific laugh. I stood there.... "Run... run... run... run... run... RUN!" cried a voice which I could not distinguish. I didn't care who it was, I knew it was right. A blast of light hit me just a second before I gathered my strength to run. I turned back. Then, at that point, I noticed the man's hand.... It was covered in blood! I was frightened, I didn't care who the man was. I was just glad that whatever that blast of light was, got me out of that horrific nightmare.
Only later did I know that this mere incident was no nightmare....
- Chapter 1:
- Chapter 1:The Unforgiving Memories Part I
"Hurry up son, or else you'll be late!" cried a voice from the kitchen.
"Huh?" I reply, startled.
"Who is that? ...No...no...." I thought.
I started to the kitchen. I was doubtful, yet I couldn't help but think that it was actually him. Soon, I was at the door. With all of my strength I turned the door knob as if it was important to my life. The fact that the door was in my way was no akward matter. The fact that the door was intact surprised me. Mentally, I knew something was off. However, I did not question it and went straight in. That was my downfall....
"Da---" I begin to say.
My face turned pale.
"Who is this man?" I thought.
The man that stood in front of me...was the same man I had saw in my dream! ...He was my dad...yet...I had a feeling he wasn't.
"Why are you here?!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
I found myself staring at the man's face. I was shocked. Static split his face in half! However, he face was still intact. Only then, had I realized that I was not meant to be here. I looked around frantically, analyzing each and every bit of detail.
"They're all new..." I said with a feeling that I was Sherlock Holmes.
I staggered backwards to the door. Then, I noticed.
"This door! It's still intact!" I replied as if I had never seen a door in my life attached to the wall.
The man was still staring at me.... Or at least that's what I had thought until a moment afterwards. I stood there... without a clue about what's going on. Then, the man bent down and opened his hands as if calling a dog....
"...Dad use to do that when I was little" I remorsed at the position the man had taken.
My eyes felt like they were popping out of my head. I couldn't believe what I just saw. A kid ran right through me! The man caught the kid and raised him up high as if he was a trophy he had won at a contest. I was losing it.
"What's going on??? Did that kid run through me? Am I hallucinanting???" I questioned every bit of what was going on.
The kid and the man paid no attention to me. I decided that I wanted to get out there as soon as I possibly could. I turned around. Then, I saw it. I saw the door in my face!
Chapter 1:The Unforgiving Memories Part II
"...What...what's going on around here?" I stood there shocked.
"Run... run... run... run... run... RUN!" said the same voice I had heard in my dream.
I couldn't. Not with what's going on.
"Run? You want me to run? I have a door in my face! You want me to run?!?!" I responded grasping for breath. "Yup. I've lost it." I started to question my mentality.
For awhile there was silence. I was choked.
"Who's that man over there daddy?" the silence had been killed.
"What man? There's no man over there son." responded the man who I had thought was my dad.
"He...he sees me?" I questioned it.
I was staggered at the way the man had spoken to his son. The way he spoke. It sparked a memory from the depths of my mind.
"Dad would never call me by my name.... He would always call me son. Never would he call me by my name." I spoke with envy.
I could do nothing and at the same time, there was nothing I couldn't do. Looking around, I found myself gazing at the door markings. Something about them made them seem as if they were the only things that I could decipher. Decipher, however, I could not. They seemed awfully familiar, but I never got to realize it.
I woke up.
Rain was dripping from the clouds above. I was showered by little droplets of water.
"This place is a mess, guess the rain helps clean." I muttered to myself.
The half torn down shack was a horrible pile of heap. Books were lying on the floor, scattered. One look and it was obvious that the owner didn't do a very good job of taking care of it. The place was falling apart. One step and the whole world could hear you! No muscles moved, nor did my bones. The silence was deadly. The only sound was the melody of rain. Snap! Startled by the sound, I scanned the area of which the noise was heard from.
"Ahah! I knew that door was going to fall sooner or later!"
Realized at what I had just said, I cringed...Chapter 1:The Unforgiving Memories Part III
I sigh with displeasure.
"Stupid door." I jokingly tease as if the sharp carvings in the door had life in them.
I blank. Shades of gray come into place. Scratched brown of the door carvings turn decayed. Creaky wooden planks darkened into what I thought would burn. Edges died out in color first, then came the thorns.
"Cherish that last sound you hear...." I couldn't do anything. "You don't have to do anything.... Just stay... rot... pathetic human...."
The figure I refused to believe was talking to me, it seemed to sigh. A pair of sparkling jewels appeared. It wasn't staring me down, contrast to the voice of the figure. Abruptly, the pair of eyes took a turn. Gulped, I choked. I didn't cough though. My sanity was on the thin line.
"Get me out! I want out! Ya hear?!" I desperately tried to shout.
The empty pair of eyes were filled with emptiness. We stared and stared. Our eyes bored into one another.
"What are you doing?" Silence was broken by the pair of eyes who seemed to be staring at me ever so slightly.
I did nothing but stare.
"..." I was muffled.
The silence was death sentencing. Frustrated, irritated, I was ready to break out of my shell, yet I couldn't.
"Don't struggle...." whispered the voice which I could not track.
I was hallucinating. I started hearing things.
"Rot.... Kill yourself. Which one you choose, I'm not the one to care." I didn't know if it was me, or the voice.
I started tearing myself apart. Flesh decayed, while my bones dissolved.
"Now now, we can't have you doing this to yourself now can we?" responded the dark abyss.
My eyes enlarged. I looked at my body. It was there looking as normal as always. I couldn't believe it.
"How... but..." was all I could think.
I smiled.
"I've done it... I've done it! Finally! At last!" I screamed with a feeling of achievement.
I stood there. I was smiling at the monstrous flesh in my hand. There it was. It was a heart. My heart.
I suffocated it....
- Chapter 2:
- Chapter 2:Confused Part I
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
"Oh...man...what's going on?..." I moan with displeasure.
My head was aching.
"HEY! Get off your lazy ass!" A voice cried a command.
I couldn't make out the voice of the person. I turned my throbbing head. familiar furniture surrounded me. I felt a soft, fabric-like cloth under my hand. I quickly turn my head in pain into view of my hand. I was shocked at what I saw. I didn't know why, it was just a bed.
"Ah...I can't wait to go back to sleep..." I muttered with disappointment.
What the hell was I talking about? Sleeping? I was sleeping? All these unanswered questions were feeding my aching head.
"Dadddddd, Jeremy won't come and play with meeeeee" whined the voice I heard earlier.
"Go play with your other brother then, Samuel. I'm busy at the moment." replied a voice that had a deeper tone as well as a more mature feeling to it.
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!
Startled, I backed up to the window of the room. The way I moved made me think I had memorized the room. How could that be? I was only here for 5 minutes!
"Rise and SHINEEEE!" A boy appeared from the opening of the door.
"Good morning Samuel" I replied.
Samuel? How do I know his name?
--------------------------------------------------
Name: Samuel
Siblings/Family/Friends:
-A bigger brother named Jeremy.
-One father
-Mother died in a car accident
-One adopted brother
About Samuel:
He loves to play. He is easily excited. Extremely smart for his age. He is hyperactive.
Age: 7
Physical Appearance:
-Dark brownish coffee-like hair
-Chubby cheeks
-3'10" in height
-A huge smile
---------------------------------------------------
"Come on! Let's go play!" He said cheerfully.
He dragged me across the sun filled room and brought me outside. I was covering my eyes. I soon realized why. The sun was extremely bright. Shades of yellow sprayed across the horizon, from bright sun yellow to dark burning red. The mountains in the distances seemed to be melting. It was as if the whole world was on meltdown. However, the wind disagreed. As much as it seemed to be burning hot, it was actually pretty windy. the surprisingly balanced weather threw me off. With this weather, nothing could go hectic. Samuel was still staring at me with his cheerful smile of his as if saying "Are we gonna play or not?" I beat him to it however.
"So...uh, what are we gonna play?" I asked the inevitable question.
"Hide n' Seek" His ever-seemingly big smile grew bigger as if I fell into one of his traps by asking what we were going to play.
I was going to ask how if I hadn't seen the huge forest barricading the brown logged house.
"Oh brother..." I muttered.
"You go count, I'll go hide" He said without dropping his cheerful mood.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Ready or not! Here I come!" I sigh.
"I swear...I've been here 100 god damn times!" I yell to myself.
"Supper time!!!!!!!" Yelled the same matured voice.
"Come on back! We're having spaghetti! Your favorite!" Shouted Samuel.
"How..." I said, shocked.
I didn't know what lured me over, but I had a feeling they were talking to me. I had a weird craving for spaghetti anyways.Chapter 2:Confused Part II
"Whoa little man, who knew you were so hungry?" The old man smirked.
Something about him was nagging me. As if I didn't belong here. Hah, that's an understatement, who am I kidding? I didn't belong here at all. I just randomly woke up in this house with my own room and my own bed. I had started feeling as if this was home....
But if I really am a stranger,... how did I know that little kid's name was Samuel? Or how he knew I had a craving for spaghetti? I asked myself.
More questions, yet I had none solved. I had realized that I had stop eating. Dazed.
"Err,.... Did I say anything that struck you?" The old man seemed sad.
"No... nothing, sorry, I was lost in thought." I wanted to say.
"Where the hell am I?" I wanted to say.
"Who are you? Who am I?" I wanted to say.
Nothing I wanted to say came out of my little mouth. My lips tightened. There was nothing I could do. By then, I knew I had to be the smartest kid ever. I gave up trying to say anything. I loosened. I decided to study the old man's face to see whether or not he was angry or anxious at my response. Then it struck me. The most annoying feeling I had ever encountered. Seeing him made me felt like crying. Suddenly, drips of water fell from an endless abyss... water was piling... puddles started to form.... Then the level of water started rising... and rising... and rising until it almost covered me entirely. I was losing conscious.
"Is everything ok?" The old man sounded worried.
Luckily, my senses returned to me and I responded this time.
"Uhm..." I said.
I was 100% sure that the old man would be proud of me to come up with such an astounding reply.
"Maybe you should go lie down, your fever hasn't completely broken" he sighed.
Fever? Was my face red? If it was, I would assure you it was no fever. I decided that the old man was right. Not about the fever, but about lying down. I was making my way to my room when I made an abrupt stop at the stairs leading up. I turned back and glanced at the old man once more.... I couldn't read him, what was his motive? Maybe he was genuinely worried for me. Or perhaps he was angry at me and wanted me to leave. I couldn't tell.... I laid in my bed for what seemed like hours, thinking through about everything that was happening. Why? Why didn't I have an answer for any of them? Like the other questions viciously running through my head, I had no answer. But someone else did....
"Because you aren't searching deep into your heart, you soul..." a creepy voice said.
Upon hearing the voice once again, my eye's enlarged. I was mentally in pain. I tried to look around if anyone was around. But to no avail. I was being swallowed into an abyss, for the second time today....
"We meet again boy..." said the creepy voice.
"W-w-wh-wh-who a-are you??" I stuttered.
A flaming old fashion lamp appeared in front of me. Fires surrounded it leaving nothing to escape once inside. I was sure the fire the lamp was making would soon burn itself. As if proving me wrong, no such thing appeared to happen.
"Silly boy, I am your Guilt" laughed the lamp.
--------------------------------------------------
Name: Guilt
Siblings/Family/Friends:
-Conscious
-Fear
About Guilt:
Guilt is in everyone. Guilt is a triple package gift, arriving with these other two: Conscious and Fear.
Age: 14
Physical Appearance:
-Shown as an old fashion lamp, or lantern. Preferably Chinese lanterns.*
-Buried in a huge fire*
*These two physical appearances form: Guilt. The Burning fire the lamp/lantern is buried in, symbolizes how Guilt is buried deep within a person's heart. The lamp/lantern inside the burning fire represents how much guilt one has.
Depending on the amount of guilt, one has, Guilt's physical appearance as a lamp/lantern with be bigger, along with the fire it is buried in. The huger the lamp/lantern, the higher the possibility of the lamp/lantern burning, releasing all guilty thoughts and/or feelings into the person.
--------------------------------------------------
"Surely you haven't forgotten me?" Guilt sounded offended.
I stared at the fire as if someone were playing a prank on me.
"Ah... 'tis a shame, it's seems that Conscious has locked away a part of you memory" Guilt replied.
Before I could ask about this "Conscious" character, Guilt spewed out something that will be burned into my memory forever....
"Run... run... run... run... run... run... RUN!!" the lamp said, as if sharing an inside joke.
All of a sudden I remembered everything. Memories of crushing my heart. Being tortured. The blast of light. My skin dissolving. Running....
Chapter 2:Confused Part III
The surprisingly warm temperature of my room awoke me.
"I... I..." sweat grew as my hand clutched at where my heart should have been.
Violently, I searched my surroundings. Everything was normal.... Too normal.... After what just happened, I didn't trust what I saw nor heard. I was shutting down all my senses... letting Concious... take over.... I was taking another trip.
"No! No! No! NO!!" had bursted from my little mouth.
I was not going back. Not this soon anyways.... My senses came back to me. A hand covered my face as I my vision came back. It was shaking.... Lowering my hand, a gust of wind blew in. A chill went down my spine.
"You don't belong here" Guilt spoke, trying to convince me, but to no avail.
"...shut up..." a tear formed.
Balling my hands into clenching fists, I decided I was going to leave. Tension grew every step.... Expecting someone downstairs, my body froze. My eyes fell... I was remembering the event that happened earlier that day. Pain started to grow as I took one more step.
"There's no turning back, you know this, now, what will be your answer?" the taunting question grew evermore mysterious.
I had no answer, why was I going to leave? The people here, Samuel, the old man, and the other kid who seemed to be Samuel's older brother. Why? Why were they so kind to me? A stranger. There was no answer. My mind raced, thinking over every piece of thought, question, answer, and feeling more regret. Everything I had thought about had gone against me in my decision to leave. Then I realized why I really wanted to leave. My answer had come to me. I wanted to leave. Not because of fearing the strangers, but because I was a stranger to them. I didn't fit. A ring was passed down to me, but it wasn't meant to be for me. I sighed. My answer was given. With my last bit of strength,... I decided to push forward. There was no turning back from this.
---------------------------------------------------
Directions: What's it look like? >_> click it. To people like Batl, I'm sorry you can't listen to the music :/. The music is meant to be like background music >> <<.
---------------------------------------------------
"Good-bye... and Thank You..." my last words spoke as I left....
Last edited by Paradox on Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:52 pm; edited 2 times in total
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Re: Death Shattering...
by Paradox Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:14 pm
More will be coming shortly, Having lunch currently ^^;
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Re: Death Shattering...
by j05hua Fri Aug 26, 2011 8:33 am
wow this is really good hope there's more to come
j05hua- Posts : 18
Points : 46464
Join date : 2011-08-26
Re: Death Shattering...
by Paradox Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:45 pm
oh yeah lots more. I'm currently up to Chapter 3 Part 2(iirc, or Chapter 2 Part 3) I'm just need to put them up 
Glad you liked it ^^
Glad you liked it ^^
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Re: Death Shattering...
by Paradox Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:57 pm
Updated to Chapter 2 Part 2
Apparently, I havent done Chapter 2 Part 3 yet ^^;
Apparently, I havent done Chapter 2 Part 3 yet ^^;
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Darkrai- Posts : 11
Points : 46505
Join date : 2011-08-26
Age : 29
Location : Oklahoma
Re: Death Shattering...
by Trickster Fri Aug 26, 2011 10:26 pm
Nice work Baka! I never knew you had a talent for these things.
Trickster- Admin
- Posts : 10
Points : 46453
Join date : 2011-08-21 -
Re: Death Shattering...
by Paradox Fri Aug 26, 2011 10:57 pm
Thanks everyone for these delightful comments!
However,... I am not really talented ^^;
Between you guys and me, I'm not that good lol.
I appreciate the comments though!
However,... I am not really talented ^^;
Between you guys and me, I'm not that good lol.
I appreciate the comments though!
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Re: Death Shattering...
by Batl Skard Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:39 am
Actually, you have a very interesting and proficient ability to nail a first person point of view and show some good character through the words. Even in Samuel I noticed a huge amount of character outside of you writing a little bio for him.
Something I'd note is, you don't have to say "I said" after every portion of dialouge. It's too reptitive, and will make you strain yourself to find innovative ways to say it. Instead, add them less frequently when you think they'll be necessary to point out who is talking. Or...
Dialouge from person A. - person a said to person b.
Dialouge from person b.
Dialouge from other source
Flavor text starting here with an actual paragraph.
EX -
Hey baka, you look troubled... [I noted]
"Oh, it's nothing..."
I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong.
Baka and I turned and noticed a female standing there....[more flavor text.]
Or you could replace the last line with;
Baka and I turned and noticed Summer standing there with a slight grin. We knew she knew something she shouldn't have.
And then add more dialouge here.
Just a random technique my Eng 101 teacher taught me that you might be interested in ^_^. I think it'll help you. Great job so far, very compelling =O
Something I'd note is, you don't have to say "I said" after every portion of dialouge. It's too reptitive, and will make you strain yourself to find innovative ways to say it. Instead, add them less frequently when you think they'll be necessary to point out who is talking. Or...
Dialouge from person A. - person a said to person b.
Dialouge from person b.
Dialouge from other source
Flavor text starting here with an actual paragraph.
EX -
Hey baka, you look troubled... [I noted]
"Oh, it's nothing..."
I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong.
Baka and I turned and noticed a female standing there....[more flavor text.]
Or you could replace the last line with;
Baka and I turned and noticed Summer standing there with a slight grin. We knew she knew something she shouldn't have.
And then add more dialouge here.
Just a random technique my Eng 101 teacher taught me that you might be interested in ^_^. I think it'll help you. Great job so far, very compelling =O
Batl Skard- Posts : 58
Points : 46664
Join date : 2011-08-28
Age : 34
Location : Somewhere underneath something not a rainbow.
Re: Death Shattering...
by Paradox Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:10 pm
well yes, I know this lol
The stuff I have up now is what I wrote long ago .-.
I gave up on it, but now, that I'm older, I decided to continue it since I have more Ideas
And, lol@example story
Oh and, WHY YOU NO READ IT ON MYSIDIA FORUM? O:< ;; </3
Thanks for the comments though
The stuff I have up now is what I wrote long ago .-.
I gave up on it, but now, that I'm older, I decided to continue it since I have more Ideas
And, lol@example story
Oh and, WHY YOU NO READ IT ON MYSIDIA FORUM? O:< ;; </3
Thanks for the comments though
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Re: Death Shattering...
by Batl Skard Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:48 pm
Oh, goodie! XD
I see I see, that'll explain it a bit.
Good, KEEP GOING AND PRODUCE AWESOME WITH YOUR FINGERS!
if I read all of Mysidia's stuff that they wanted me to, I'd still be reading it >_>
Welcome c:
I see I see, that'll explain it a bit.
Good, KEEP GOING AND PRODUCE AWESOME WITH YOUR FINGERS!
if I read all of Mysidia's stuff that they wanted me to, I'd still be reading it >_>
Welcome c:
Batl Skard- Posts : 58
Points : 46664
Join date : 2011-08-28
Age : 34
Location : Somewhere underneath something not a rainbow.
Re: Death Shattering...
by Paradox Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:54 pm
I'm sorry that part 3 is so short, but some chapters/parts are like that.
Enjoy! Part 3 of Chapter 2 is up!
Updates: Chapter 2 Part 3 is up. Working on Chapter 3.
Enjoy! Part 3 of Chapter 2 is up!
Updates: Chapter 2 Part 3 is up. Working on Chapter 3.
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Re: Death Shattering...
by Batl Skard Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:37 am
Nice Update! Not much to say besides nice things you've already heard XD.
Also, nice song
. I could hear it this time.
Also, nice song
. I could hear it this time.
Batl Skard- Posts : 58
Points : 46664
Join date : 2011-08-28
Age : 34
Location : Somewhere underneath something not a rainbow.
Paradox- Posts : 100
Points : 46777
Join date : 2011-08-24
Pokemon Perfection :: Random :: Hobbies
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum|
|
|
» Millenium Stars Malayalam Movie Songs
» Ativador Office 2013 365 Home Premium
» New Forums for PP
» The Blazing Ring of Fire Gym
» The Gym Leaders
» Gym Leader Tryout Battles
» Gym Leaders
» Help !! error script